http://www.worldmeets.us/images/fonda-longevity-forum-brazil_pic.jpg

Jane Fonda at Brazil's annual Longevity Forum, Sao Paolo, Dec. 1.

 

 

Jane Fonda, Go Home! (Folha, Brazil)

 

"The gift of the absence of brain matter leads beauties like her to remove from their shoulders any adverse reaction resulting from deep feelings or profound thought. There is nothing like a marked frivolity to relieve the dark circles under one's eyes. ... I'd like to take Jane Fonda to the boardwalk in Ipanema to see how many women she could count that are stretched out by plastic surgery. Most in fact craft themselves by working out. Got that - lady dumped by Ted Turner?"

 

By Barbara Gancia*

                              http://www.worldmeets.us/images/Barbara-Gancia_mug.jpg

 

Translated By Brandi Miller

 

December 4, 2012

 

Brazil - Folha - Original Article (Portuguese)

A well-preserved Jane Fonda signs copies of her new book Prime Time, before appearing at Brazil's annual Longevity Forum, Nov. 30.

YOUTUBE VIDEO: Jane Fonda book signing in Rio, Nov. 28, 00:20:34RealVideo

I have no doubt that Jane Fonda's brainlessness was a determining factor in her arrival, at 75 years of age, in the splendid form in which she landed in Brazil this week.

 

It's no wonder that the actress, who threw my generation into a cosmic swoon when she played the role of Barbarella, continues to be lean, free of crow's feet and bags under her eyes, and no double chin, stretch marks or wrinkles. The gift of the absence of brain matter leads beauties like her to remove from their shoulders any adverse reaction resulting from deep feelings or profound thought. There is nothing like a marked frivolity to relieve the dark circles under one's eyes.

 

Of course, Jane still has a privileged genetic inheritance in her favor, and can count on those aesthetic treatments offered in California, which leave any woman with the "layout" of the protagonist in the film Death Becomes Her.

 

With this devastating arsenal and the baggage of years before cameras producing VHS fitness videos for White slackers, the actress, activist and sex symbol landed among us as if she were the guardian of the secrets of Ponce de Leon, the guy who according to the legend knew the secret of eternal youth.

 

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Goldie Hawn and Meryl Streep in Death Becomes Her.

 

But Fonda stepped off the plane shouting about how Brazilians exaggerate themselves with the amount of plastic surgeries, that this is what hicks and the "nouveau riche," the unbalanced, and the uneducated do - or those who don't have what it takes. Well, if she didn't say it, at least she thought it!

 

Did you know that it had never occurred to me that big-eyed Melanie Griffith was from Salvador? Or that Meg Ryan, with her tractor-tire lips, was from Espírito Santo? Or that Pamela Anderson was born in Piauí? [These are all places in Brazil].

 

Brazilians exaggerate with scalpels, fillers and skin peels - how about that, Mickey Rourke?

Posted by Worldmeets.US

 

Now, Jane Fonda, with her hands like the witch from Snow White and her 50-year-old legs, 30-year-old stomach and teeth covered with Kevlar armor, hasn't done any bodywork! She's just like she came from the factory. Just one look and we already know.

 

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I'd like to take Jane Fonda to the boardwalk in Ipanema to see how many women she could count that are stretched out by plastic surgery. Most in fact craft themselves by working out. Got that - lady dumped by Ted Turner?

 

Or perhaps I'd like to take her to a Xingu tribe, or perhaps to the sands of the Abaeté Lagoon to meet a Bahian with a water jug on her head and examine the excellent tough hide that miscegenation produces. One of the marvels of this land, Miss Jane.

 

You all know I run off at the mouth because of anger, because Jane Fonda, goddess and symbol, lunged at us when we expected caresses and sweetness. Everyone knows how I react when they mess with our dignity, isn't that right girls? We need not tell her about Angela Bismarchi [see below], and about how she takes some out and puts some in, and for each rehearsal at the Beija-Flor samba school, she replaces her eyelids with hymen and vice-versa - ok?

 

http://www.worldmeets.us/images/Angela-Bismarchi-plastic-surguries_pic.jpg

Brazilian Samba dancer and model Angela Bismarchi, one-time record

holder for the most plastic surgeries. At the time this chart was made

in 2008, she had undergone 41 such procedures.

 

Or that reality star Geisy Arruda returned from a trip to the market having decided to replace her cauliflower with cabbage [before having plastic surgery done on her vagina, she compared it to a cauliflower]. Of two evils, this is the least. What if Jane runs into comedian Dedé Santana at a cocktail party? What would she think about our fixation on scalpels? Call [famed plastic surgeon] Pitanguy!

 

http://www.worldmeets.us/images/Barbara-Gancia_mug.jpg

Barbara Gancia, who lives the myth of mestizo journalism and is a fan of Santos FC football, detests getting involved in controversy. She has reached the age of having to refuse food containing animal fat, is a columnist for 'Cotidiano' [Daily Life] and the magazine 'Sãopaulo.'

 

CLICK HERE FOR PORTUGUESE VERSION

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[Posted by Worldmeets.US Dec. 4, 8:08pm]